


Valentine’s Day Vows

by f_fandom



Series: Jim and Spock One-shots [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom James T. Kirk, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Music, James T. Kirk Has Issues, M/M, One Shot, Protective Spock (Star Trek), Song Lyrics, T'hy'la, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Spock, Valentine's Day Fluff, seriously so much fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f_fandom/pseuds/f_fandom
Summary: Jim has fears about V Day and decides to be melancholy at the piano until Spock shows up to put some sense into him. Inspired by Five for Fighting “Superman” and don’t ask me why lol
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Spock, James T. Kirk/Spock
Series: Jim and Spock One-shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2153928
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	Valentine’s Day Vows

Jim sat in the dim light of the rec room, overthinking. He paced with his cup of coffee, feeling his face catch the steam of it. It wasn't replicated. He and Scotty had hacked a panel beside the replicator and installed an actual coffee pot. To be used for emergencies. Like now. 

Bones had given him a hard enough time about not showing up for the Valentine's Day special in the Observation Lounge, but he hadn't been in the mood for it. He'd taken the bourbon Bones offered him and tossed it back with a glare. 

"Right," Bones had muttered. "I know that mood. You know you should just talk to him. That's what people in a normal relationship do."

"Key word: 'normal'," Jim said. 

"Look, you two morons chose this. Not me. He asked you if you wanted to celebrate Valentine's and you said no. What do you expect?"

Jim had held out his glass for more, but Bones pushed it back at him with his finger. He sighed. "I don't know."

"Yeah you do. Don't gimme that shit, darling. You wanted him to see through it and realize it actually is important to you. You didn't want to have to explain that--hoped it would be obvious. Well, I hate to break it to ya, but Spock is the last person on this entire ship who is going to see through that. No, Jim. No...no more bourbon... This is worse than sarcasm--at least with that he's got actual words to go off of and analyze. Bond or no bond, you've got to give the poor guy words."

"I've got a few words for you."

"I'm sure you do. Now I'm going to go meet up with Chrissy, and we're all going to have a nice time with drinks and music and chocolates...now that's something you could give Spock. I'll say again that you should quit your wallowing and come join us for a bit, but I know you won't listen. Spock is going to be there all lonesome."

"There is no way Spock will be there. I already told him I didn't want to go."

Bones shrugged. "Stranger things have happened on this ship."

Jim stopped his pacing and sipped his coffee. "Stranger things have certainly happened on this ship. Like me and Spock getting together in the first place."

He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. A habit that always drew Spock's attention and had him staring at Jim's locks in disarray like he was torn between wanting to smooth every strand or mess it up further. Jim sat softly on the piano bench in the corner of the room. He set the coffee cup on top of the piano and trailed his hands above the keys. He wore only his regulation blacks and practically blended into the corner with the black piano. He struck a few keys with his right hand, absent-mindedly working his way up a basic scale and back down. Arpeggios and all. 

Jim tilted his head and brought his left hand up, shifting on the bench and thinking for a moment before playing. Slow, hesitant...it had been such a long time...the song pieced itself together from his memory. He couldn't say why this song. Couldn't say when he'd learned it or ever really played it before. It was kind of silly. A song about an old superhero from comic books. Jim had one in his collection, so old the colors had faded to nearly nothing, pressed in a clear preserver pane. The words to the song came quietly as he tinkered through the melody. He hummed some parts when he couldn't remember the words. But then they started coming back and he kept going, not trying to think too hard because he knew then he'd lose his rhythm and forget.

_I can't stand to fly...I'm not that naive.  
I'm just out to find the better part of me.  
I'm more than a bird. I'm more than a plane.  
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train,  
and it's not easy to be me._

__

_Wish that I could cry...Fall upon my knees.  
Find a way to lie about a home I'll never see.  
It may sound absurd, but don't be naive.  
Even heroes have the right to bleed.  
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede  
That even heroes have the right to dream,  
and it's not easy to be me._

__

_Up up and away, away from me,  
well it's all right.  
You can all sleep sound tonight.  
Cause I'm not crazy or anything._

__

_I can't stand to fly...I'm not that naive.  
Men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees.  
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet  
Digging for Kryptonite on this one-way street.  
Only a man in a funny red sheet  
Looking for special things inside of me._

__

_Inside of me. Yeah, inside of me. Inside of me.  
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet.  
I'm only a man looking for a dream.  
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet.  
And it's not easy.  
It's not easy to be me._

Jim was surprised he'd made it through the whole song. He honestly didn't remember all of it when he'd started, and then somehow it had just come flooding back. He played the last chord again and cut it off with a laugh, muttering "I'll be damned," and sipping his coffee again. 

"I am not certain I understand the meaning of the song."

Jim swore loudly at Spock's voice. His knees slammed under the piano and he nearly toppled off the bench. Hot coffee covered his shirt and pants. He hissed at the scalding liquid and stood up, holding his arms away from his body and pulling the shirt out so it didn't touch his skin. He was startled by Spock's hands there suddenly, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head on one smooth motion, while also catching the empty coffee cup that Jim dropped in the process. Then Spock grabbed the waistline of his pants and Jim stopped him by taking his forearms.

"Spock, I'm fine. Please don't take my pants off in the rec room when you've already stolen my shirt."

Spock hesitated and stood back, clenching his hands behind his waist and staring at a now shirtless Jim. The dim lighting of the room caught the liquid on his chest and stomach, making his muscles shine. Jim followed Spock's eyes and sighed. He wrung out his shirt and was going to try and put it back on, but grimaced at the wet fabric and gave up. Instead, Spock removed his blue tunic and wrenched it over Jim's head before he could protest, and Jim had no choice but to glare and shove his arms through the sleeves. He pulled the shirt straight, which seemed to satisfy Spock as he glanced Jim over again and resumed his stance wearing only his regulation blacks. 

"Thanks," Jim mumbled. 

"My original inquiry remains," Spock said. "The computer test indicated the song you played was about an old Earth character from literature, known as Superman."

"So many people would love you right now for calling comic books literature. I mean,--wait, you ran a computer scan while you were standing there?"

Spock shrugged. "I wished to know the song and did not want to interrupt you. I knew you would cease if you were aware of my presence."

"It's just a song, Spock."

"And yet there seem to be similarities in the ambitions of yourself and this character."

"You calling me Superman?" Jim leaned against a table and laughed. He crossed his arms uncomfortably. Spock's shirt fit tight around his chest and shoulders.

Spock stepped closer, closing more distance. "I am saying that you also face many hardships that people do not know about, and that people see many things in you besides what you truly are. You also have a role to play, do you not?"

"Well, sure, I guess so, but--"

"You have always had dreams of being more than what people thought you would be. Of proving people wrong in their assumptions about you. Of proving even to yourself that you are more."

Jim tried to lean back, but Spock was in his space now. "Okay, now you're just--"

"'The right to bleed,'" Spock said. "I do not like this line. I find evidence to analyze it far too literally. You are strong and capable and brave, but you do not have the right to jeopardize your safety in order to make a point."

Jim rubbed his eyes. "What point am I making, Spock?"

"That you care. That you are frightened. That you would rather say nothing because you fear you want too much, rather than risk rejection by stating your needs outright."

"How the hell do you get that fr--"

"Valentine's Day, Jim.

"Will you stop cutting me off?"

"Why did you not tell me you cared so much when I asked you? Why did you lie when the truth would have been so simple?"

Jim pushed off from the table and Spock reluctantly let him pass. He began pacing again and then shook his head. He turned back to Spock and crossed his arms again, staring at the floor.

"'Digging for Kryptonite,'" he muttered. 

"Superman's weakness?" Spock asked. "A green meteorite from his home world that proved deadly to him..."

Jim rubbed his hands, trying to think about how stupid this all was and yet how giddy he felt that Spock was taking this so seriously. It was a human experiment, something unknown to him. Of course he would try to understand it, even if he didn't realize how little it mattered. Spock was watching him rub his hands, staring at the way his thumb pressed between the digits, swiped across the web of his thumb and forefinger. Spock closed his mouth and blushed and Jim laughed, pointing before he lost his nerve.

"There," he said. "Green weakness."

Spock touched his face and raised an eyebrow. "I am your Kryptonite? I do not understand, Jim." 

“Really?” He stepped into Spock’s space and tilted his chin to look him in the eye. Spock’s eyes still narrowed in confusion, but held Jim’s gaze. Jim took Spock’s elbows and rubbed his bare forearms.

“Everything about this. You and us. It tells me to run as hard and fast as I can in the opposite direction. It tells me you’re the one thing that will hurt me more than anything else in my life.”

“Ashayam, I would never—”

“I love you, Spock.”

Spock frowned. “And I love you as well. I do not see how—”

“No, I love you. Like, beyond what I know I have to feel. I don’t know what love is, Spock. I’ve never had it. But I know I can’t think of anything except you. I can’t breathe if I don’t know you’re nearby. I can’t sleep without checking to make sure you’re there. Just in case you aren’t. I can’t stand the sight of others near you. Of others touching you. Talking with you. Capturing your attention. I can’t bear it when you’re hurting. When I wasn’t enough to save you, or I wasn’t enough to help you. When I’ve been too emotional and compromised you or sent you away in frustration. I can’t remember what my life was before I knew what it could be with you, and now I can’t even fathom how I could exist if I had to live another day without you. I would destroy entire galaxies if it meant pleasing you or saving you. I would kill anyone who threatened you. I would kill in a way I haven’t since Tarsus. I can’t—I can’t _be_ without you, Spock. I don’t know how. Don’t you understand? And that’s the most dangerous scenario imaginable for a Starfleet Captain.”

Jim fell into a chair and buried his face in his hands. “You...you kill me, Spock. And yet I’d risk everything, dig past any barrier, to be with you. Even if it meant sacrificing everything. Even if it meant my own destruction. I would die a thousand deaths at your hand every day just to be with you and quiet this madness inside me.”

He rubbed at his headache that had been manageable until a few minutes ago. With his eyes closed, he rubbed his fingers in circles at his temples. Breathing deeply. Waiting for Spock to leave. To prove Jim was too much. Too illogical. Too emotional. Too needy. Too desperate. Too much.

“Never.”

Spock’s voice rasped and sounded pained. Long fingers met his, and Jim felt the air shift as Spock kneeled in front of him. Spock’s fingers replaced his own, pressing and sending warmth and ease. Light trickled through the bond, bright and brilliant and liberating. Spock’s hands framed Jim’s face. Lips met his forehead, trying to smooth out the worried lines.

“Look at me, Jim.”

Jim opened his eyes and saw Spock’s were wet. Great. He’d broken his Vulcan. Again. He shouldn’t have even said anything. He should have just kept his stupid mouth shut.

“I am glad you said this,” Spock said. He shook his head. “I wish you would cease insulting yourself. You cannot push me away, Jim. Not when you open yourself up to me so deeply like this. When you trust me enough to let me see you. I am more gratified than I can express that I am not alone in my madness.”

“You don’t understand what this is like for me, Spock. I don’t know how to love you like you need. I’ve never done relationships before. And I never want to again.”

Spock smoothed Jim’s cheekbone with his thumb. “You will never need to. I do not plan to give you up. I, too, do not do relationships, but what I had with Nyota only confirmed that my longing would never be fulfilled unless it was with you. And I had resigned myself to a life of solitude because of it, until I realized you reciprocated my feelings. I have known more madness in my life than I ever care to experience again, but with you, the madness makes sense. It drives to bind and heal, not destroy.”

“But what if—”

Spock covered Jim’s mouth with his own, kissing him deeply and holding his face in his hands. Cupping the back of his neck and drawing him closer, forcing Jim to hold onto him or fall off the chair. Jim’s hands squeezed at Spock’s shoulders, pressed into his collarbone. He stroked Spock’s throat with his thumbs. Spock hummed into his mouth and bit his tongue before releasing him, watching him gasp and blink open dazed eyes.

“When what we have is now, Jim, there is no need for ‘what ifs.’ They are illogical speculations that hold low statistical likelihood and are not worth your time. Not when it could be spent so many other ways.”

Spock kissed Jim’s forehead again, caressing his ears and neck, and down, stroking across his broad chest. Jim’s breath caught when Spock’s palm dragged across his nipple under his shirt. Spock leaned back and studied him.

“I find the sight of you in my clothing rather...stimulating.”

Jim grinned slowly. “Is that so?”

“You play beautifully, Jim. You should endeavor to do so more often.”

“What, and have the whole crew realize I can play and start throwing requests at me? Nah. Bones knows, but he’s sworn to secrecy. And now you are too, mister.”

“Vulcans do not lie.”

“Aren’t I lucky.”

Spock tilted his head and drew Jim out of the chair to stand with his arms wrapped around his back. Jim placed his hands on Spock’s hips and gazed up at him.

“What do you suppose Superman would do to celebrate Valentine’s Day, Jim?”

Jim sighed. “I don’t know, Spock. It really is just a song, you know.”

“Perhaps.” Spock pressed his nose into Jim’s hair. “Though you are my hero. No, do not laugh...You are a wonder and you never cease to amaze me. And you accomplish things that no other Captain in Starfleet has. You draw respect and admiration from all those around you. People depend on you. I...depend on you.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Jim said. He leaned into Spock’s neck and smiled.

“And since,” Spock continued, “I have happily realized you were not honest when you stated your dislike of today’s holiday, I would be amenable to exploring methods of celebration.”

“Have you...” Jim laughed and stared up at him. “Were you _actually_ wanting to do something for Valentine’s Day this whole time?”

Spock shrugged. “I have observed that humans find it quite enjoyable. And it is an excuse to pleasure you even more, which brings me no end of satisfaction. I believe I would like to explore more possibilities regarding you and my wardrobe attire.”

“You are the horniest Vulcan ever, and I adore you.” Jim stood on his toes and kissed Spock full on the mouth without making him tilt his head down. Spock tightened his arms around Jim and lifted him a few inches off the floor.

“They have chocolate in the Observation Lounge,” Jim mumbled into Spock’s mouth.

“I already have some in our quarters. For you. I do not require further intoxication.”

Spock was biting his lower lip and sucking on it. He let Jim down and ran his hands along Jim’s back, dipping his fingers into the muscles and kneading the top of his backside. Jim tilted his head in a copy expression of Spock’s.

“Did you get coffee on your pants too from mine? Or is that...”

Spock smirked, blushing only a little at his cheeks. Jim rolled his eyes and took Spock’s forearm.

‘Very well then, Commander. Let’s retire for the evening. I want that chocolate, you old romantic.”

And if on their way back, Jim was met with mental images of himself on the bed being fed pieces of chocolate by Spock because his hands were restrained at the headboard, well. He may have quickened their pace.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own Star Trek names, characters, or anything else. Definitely don’t own the song, either, even though it always brings me some serious Smallville nostalgia...sigh.


End file.
